To Amy
I really don’t know how to express the complicated feelings I have.
I am thinking of you today.
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Tags: life, owl city, prayer, romance, vanilla twilight
I recognize that in the past two years I have changed significantly. My outward responses have become more hesitant and thoughtful. Perhaps I am getting older and know that as a hot-head, I need to think things through before I voice them. I have become less cynical outwardly; carefully evaluating most thoughts my mind wants to eject via my mouth.
With this comes a better understanding of modernity, post-modernity and what would be an inward longing for truth. I believe that I was definitely, without ever agreeing or willingly acknowledging, a product of my post-modern culture. I know that I rejected, in my cynicism, the ability to realize truth.
How could I do this?! Doesn’t Jesus say “I am the way, the truth and the life…”? Was this the same as saying “I can’t know Christ?!” What I think that I am getting at is that in my desire to question everything in this longing to know truth I rejected every expression of certainty. I saw it as something arrogant – that you think that you could have the corner on what is true or not!
I am now understanding that my cynicism was a clever mask for something sinful. My own arrogance and unwillingness to come before the embodiment of absolute truth and admit his lordship. I still work on my cynicism – but now I am better equipped to recognize it’s subtle insinuations into the thread of my thoughts. I now keep some nuggets of truth in my head (o, wretched, weak flesh!) such as Jesus’ intercessory prayer in John 17 (vs.17) “Sanctify them through thy truth: thy word is truth” and Isaiah 40:8, “The grass withers, the flower fades: but the word our God shall stand forever.”
This change is far from complete. I know that I have much to learn, … of that I can be certain! Hopefully, I will be able to voice more of it here.
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Tags: certainty, christian, christian life, cynicism, God, jesus christ, post-modern, religion, truth
the highest blessing
Father in Heaven,
I desire a heart for your work. I long, even now, to perform that which you have set aside for me to do during this all too short life.
Please guide my feet to the place you have chosen for me. I desire your blessing, Father – not that which I could take for myself, for your hands are bigger, Lord.
I want to be in your service anywhere, for to me, that is the highest blessing. Does that mean here? Does that mean a far off land? I want to be in your service anywhere, Lord.
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Tags: blessing, christianity, God, missional, prayer
new day
Today is a new day. Sorry, too personal for details. Suffice to say that I am feeling lonely, anxious, hopeful, and sad all at once. Yes, that is quite a mix and I am pretty sure I am not alone in this state.
It is not how I had hoped things would go, but I think that it is the wise choice amongst the options. Strangely, I feel different today; nothing specific, just not the same as yesterday.
(perhaps I should take up twitter – this was quite a short post, with no intrinsic value…:\ )
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Tags: life, personal
eloquence lost
I have nothing eloquent to say today. I feel that I should be weeping upon my bed as David did for his sick child. While in this mind, the Lord drew me to this verse – so I will let my words be few:
The LORD reigns, he is robed in majesty; the LORD is robed in majesty and is armed with strength. The world is firmly established; it cannot be moved.
Your throne was firmly established long ago; you are from all eternity.
The seas have lifted up, O LORD, the seas have lifted up their voice; the seas have lifted up their pounding waves.
Mightier than the thunder of the great waters, mightier than the breakers of the sea – the LORD on high is mighty.
Your statutes stand firm; holiness adorns your house for endless days, O LORD.
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Tags: faith, God, religion, wycliffe
there is none else
I have been afforded a morning of retreat. Well, all of us have – it is our morning for contemplation. This passage came to me while I was walking the Salmon Trail here on campus. It is a good place to return to – the beginning and end. In the next verse Isaiah hears the LORD tell him this:
My counsel shall stand, and I will do all my pleasure
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Tags: christianity, God, religion, the lord, wycliffe
becoming nothing
We may never know the pain and embarrassment that Jesus endured for us during his ministry on earth – we just receive the blessing.
Think about this in a linguistic sense for a moment. When you enter a language group without any ability to speak the language, you essentially become an infant in what you can do and say. Christ was all powerful – more than we commonly comprehend. He put all of that aside and became, in comparison, like an infant.
How embarrassing for us when we enter that new culture and language group when we give up our status as an intelligent, respected person in our culture for this new group. We no longer have the respect that we once enjoyed.
When I consider this and apply it, in a sense, to what Jesus endured for our sake, how much sweeter the blessing becomes.
King of all days
Oh so highly exalted
Glorious in heaven above
Humbly You came to the earth You created
All for love’s sake became poor
~Phillips, Craig and Dean
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Tags: christianity, culture, language, religion, wycliffe
vision 2025
There are lots of stories from my history that I can relate about how I have been drawn to languages. Stories of hearing a new language spoken around me and wondering what they people are talking about. Once I had learned to read and write I was always wondering how the words came to mean what they mean.
So it seems natural that I was drawn to Wycliffe Bible Translators. There are more stories about that process too. For the past week, I have been at an orientation course for people considering long term work with the organization.
I had hoped to record more of the thoughts and impressions that I had this week as they happened to recognize the full impact. The week was so action packed that this never happened. I am overwhelmed at the amount of things that have occurred here. I have kept some notes, so I hope to play catch up this week as I complete the last week of the course.
To get the background on the organization go to here:
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Tags: christianit, christianity, missional, translation, wycliffe
richly dwelling word
I can’t let another April pass this journal without a post, and so a glimpse into what I am contemplating today.
At the beginning of the month, I resolved to read one of Paul’s letters (the same one) every day for an entire month. Also, in the study group I attend we did something similar, but on a weekly rotation. I confess that I haven’t been entirely faithful in this, but even in my perfidy, God is faithful. He has blessed this effort in this: never before in my memory have I had such a constant desire to be submerged in scripture. I feel a longing (recently expressed) to just sit with my bible, a couple of reference books, in my house (with a cup of tea!) and read until I am full.
Oh, for the (seemingly) simple life.
So, to the point. I have seen the beginnings of the passage in Colossians 3, “Let the word of Christ dwell in you richly in all wisdom…” come to life in me. I know this passage could be taken to mean “Let the Holy Spirit dwell in you… teaching and admonishing… “, etc. Regardless, I have noticed that my behavior has altered, albeit slightly, to mirror the subsequent verse. I am feeling more thankful for the richness I enjoy.
I would draw attention to the real point of my comments. This is by nothing I have done. In myself I know that I do not have the discipline or interest to read a passage everyday. Nor do I hold the keys that unlock affection in me for the word of God. I know that God alone controls this process in my life and he alone is deserving of all the credit.
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Tags: belief, christian life, jesus christ, religion, scripture, truth
heart-feeling and devotion
Two things that are in front of me today. One is a passage I read today, the other a blog post that I read.
Why art thou cast down, O my soul? And why art thou disquieted in me? Hope thou in God: for I shall yet praise Him for the help of His countenance.
For careful consideration:
(topic: personal devotions and purposeful study of God’s word)
The reason I plead for both is that without a book or a class about what some part of the Bible means and a teacher who is ahead of you, your devotions will probably flatten out at a low level of insight.
~Desiring God Ministries, blog, 23 March 2009
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Tags: christianity, desiring god, devotions, faith, john piper, meditation, reading
But For Grace 